Testing the Waters

Hey everyone.  I have recently started my hand at writing a romantic short story.  I haven’t gotten too far into and they always say get feedback while you are writing.  So I figured I’d post a snippet.  Let me know what y’all think!


Standing on my tiptoes, I reached up to get the extra party cups from the cupboard and threw them towards my roommate Gabrielle.  “There that should be enough, don’t you think?”  When she didn’t answer I figured she walked out as soon as she caught them.  I turned around to go find her and froze when I realized who was sitting at our kitchen island, none other than the beautiful, I mean arrogant son of a bitch from earlier today.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked him with a little more malice than I intended.

“I was invited by your glamorous roommate, Bree.” the yummy stranger says as he studies my face.  I stare off in the direction Bree ran off and gritted my teeth, “Why are you here? Sorry didn’t catch your name when you were drooling all over Bree this morning.”  He started explaining himself but I was too distracted by his looks and his sexy southern drawl to pay attention to him.

He snaps his fingers in front of my face, “Hello? Are you paying attention to me?”  He grinned when I realized what I had done and blushed.  “Ah, so who’s the one drooling now, Elizabeth?”

Oh my god, his voice is enough to drop me to the floor and beg him to fuck me.  OH…MY…GOD, Elizabeth Lauren O’Connor, what do you think you are doing?  You don’t even know him, and you’re picturing him fucking you on the floor.

“Look,” I paused waiting for him to offer up his name. “Sorry darling’, my name is Tristan.”  “Okay, look Tristan, I don’t know who you are or why you came, but I think you should leave.”  I turned toward the front door of our flat intending to make sure the incredibly delicious Tristan actually left.  Before I could reach for the door handle I felt a strong hand wrap around my wrist that tugged me into an equally strong chest. I felt his hot breath on my neck and I wanted to melt.  “What do you think you are doing?!” I struggled out of his grasp trying to hide my arousal as I swung to face him.  “Being a dirty rotten scoundrel,” he winked at me as he walked out of the door, “later darling’” and he was gone.

Bree found me slumped up against the counter five minutes later, “Yo sugar tits, you okay? I saw Tristan in here earlier, now you look like you got hit by a bus.”  “Yeah about that,” I began, “why was he even here? He told me that you invited him?!” I punched her shoulder slightly.  She playfully clocked me one back, “well I saw how you looked at him this morning when we ran into him, so I figured I’d help get the ball rolling, get you two talking to each other.”

“It’s supposed to be solidarity, sister! We’re both supposed to hate that arrogant jackass. You’re not supposed to be trying to hook us up. I don’t like him!”

“You know the first step is always denial. I’m going to get you to admit it one of these days, I swear! Then you can live happily ever after and have lots of my nieces and nephews, so I can live vicariously through you!”